From A to Z by me

Well it was almost a week since my friend and I went to fish pedicure. After scoring a deal with Groupon, I managed to arrange the dates and one nice afternoon we headed to Greenwich (first of all, we went for a nice walk) and ended up in the place. It didn't look too good, we had massage done by a guy (well according to my friend, if he was good looking, this would have been more exciting). So half an hour dipping (it felt amazing, those little ones nibbing you, feels like someone is ticking you), then a scrub and nice foot massage. You don't want to do anything after, just sit down and relax. I had to go for a floatation experience but cancelled (OK, I didn't bother to call, just didn't show up) as I was too relaxed/sleepy/lazy of doing anything.

I am aching today, barley can move. I am a bit slow on catching new trends (well I guess you can call Power Plate so 2010)And this comes after I went for Power Plate session. 20 minutes of squats, lunges, press ups and all other exercises: I feel like I have been doing 2 hour workout. It really works. I have been quiet pessimistic (yeah, sure..."An hour workout in 20 minutes" say slogans). I am once again proved wrong. Being instructed by personal trainer in Fitness for Every Body was enjoyable: was given new information and advice how to improve my overall fitness. Body Pump used to be my favorite class (try it if you haven't, it is great fun and results are quick) so doing squats, lunges or planks are not so challenging for me, but I was struggling to keep with push ups and triceps' dips for one minute (shame on me once again). I am hooked up, planing of joining it after I get back from the wedding. Looking forward to make my body wobble on magic plate and become slimmer.

It is great to be on holidays and so difficult to be back to your normal life. I went home (which is Lithuania in my case) and had amazing time. OK, maybe I am exaggerating it a bit. I was helping my parents with their business (hotel and restaurant): I was trying to overtake my dad's job to let him rest a bit, also do some bits of my mum's duties that she doesn't need to work 24/7. My day started at 6 am (keep it in mind that there is 2 hour difference, so that means I was waking up 4 am British time). I was usually done by midday and had the rest of my day off. We went to play paintball which was amazing, if you haven't tried, you don't know what are you missing. Also done some travelling around. And not to forget the best, I was eating a lot: no carbs rule was broken, I was stuffing myself with ice creams, chocolates and deserts. I was trying to keep with my new fitness routine (jogging for at least an hour, haven't been doing it for a long, so it takes time to get back to my old self), my running shoes were left to dust and I enjoyed yummy treats instead. The most important thing you usually miss about home (not to mention your family and friends) is food: so I took advantage of it fully. Few kilos up and I am back to my normal life. I am already missing home (and who wouldn't, I am attaching some pics and giving you a link to my parents' place, well in case if you are around in Lithuania which is not more likely but...). I have a wedding to attend in 17 days so I am trying to follow some strict diet (it is not diet, I am just eating raw food: fruits, vegetables, some dried nuts or so). We will see how it goes. I also had a Power Plate session booked for Friday, having some water tank floatation experience and fish pedicure with my friend on Monday (I will share my experience after). For now, back to work: four days flying out of five. Bring it on.

Last Friday my lovely BF took me for a lunch before our shopping trip. He was leaving for Amsterdam the next day, so we spent the day before doing all things I love - SHOPPING. His friend is in charge there, so we indulged yummy food up there. L'Autre Pied might be one star Micheline place but the interior is simple, delicate and welcoming. Don't get me wrong, if there wasn't so many staff helping you to enjoy your lunch - offering you freshly made bread (I am hooked on seeds and nuts one with some butter spread on top which was melting in my mouth), refilling your water, asking about your experience and explaining every dish - you wouldn't think that this is a top place on the list as it is so cosy. I enjoyed my lovely Chilled Courgette Velouté, Feta Cheese, Hazelnuts, Roscoff Onion, Basil Oil" for starters. And then indulged myself with "Pan Fried Cod, Crushed Potatoes, Baby Carrots, Carrot and Star Anise Pureé, Tarragon Sauce" (I do not eat meat, so I always go for fish or vegetable dish when I am eating out). OK, the only thing was that I didn't pay attention and overlooked that it has Anise Pureé and I am not a fan of it. Apart from that, it was amazing. We were treated by the big man with some extra dishes which I can't recall the names of them. If you want to enjoy nice atmosphere, good customer service and delicious food - this is one of the places to go.

Wow. After reading the introduction I am set back and speechless. This "pessimist" has been ruling my life for way too long. I will give you a list of 10 things your Inner Pessimist is likely to say (I have spotted more than one):

Everyone of us have this Inner Pessimist who holds us back, makes us doubt and lose our hope. I was writing the list and at the end of every statement making my remarks: this person inside you doesn't have right to put you down, you are great in every way. I might be carrying some extra pounds, but I can always hit the pavements and start jogging. I might not be rich and posh but that doesn't make me worse than them, moreover, I am the one who can make myself work to it, being rich is achievable if your main goal is only money. No one is stupid, we might have different range of abilities but at the end, we are always good at something. Ugly? We girls, always moan about it but at the end we find our prince and live happily ever after, so we are all beautiful princesses but the timing of getting it all is different to everyone. I am not good enough and if you were me, you wouldn't do it...well, let me tell you, you are not me, so that's why I am doing it and taking the risks, making mistakes and learning from them, falling over and getting back on my feet. I am ready for life and it's challenges. Bring it on.

OK, my Inner one is going to be she as I have to match her and be better than her. She should be everything I don't support: someone with blond long hair - extensions of course - and just pretty face, fake nails (OK, I used to have them for a while and I regret it, but I just don't stand ANY artificial things), spray tan all around the year, designer clothes (don't get me wrong, I love labels, but sometimes people don't have personality to wear it, they are wearing something just because it is something which was more than my month's rent and it was by a big name), speaks posh (I don't know if you noticed, but no offence, we have loads of Russian youngsters studying/living in London and they speak posh English which just doesn't go with me. You can straight away assume that they think they are way better than everyone else as they are relating themselves to Royals. Leave posh English for Royals!), doesn't like to be interrupted and always thinks she is right.

I am always hearing that " You're not good enough, you're stupid, you're talentless..." and sometimes I fear that she might be right. She might be right and I am really this fool who is making a laughing stock of myself by trying to do things, change something. Maybe I am wearing pink glasses and seeing world the way it is not. She makes me doubt every single time I need to make any decision. It is like living with someone else, like competing every single day while living your life, making sure you done it right. I fear to be wrong, I fear of being failure.

   2.  How does that script serve me?

It really makes me feel small and vulnerable. I feel like being a kid and following my parents advice, it doesn't challenge me to get out there and do what I want. It makes me feel trapped inside my world.

  3.  What does it cost me?

My life. I miss on every little bit: I lock myself inside and don't live my life. Again, it just makes me exist and nothing more. I can't find the inner peace with myself, I start being depressed and not willing of doing anything.

  4.  When your Inner Pessimist is in charge, how do you feel physically? Exhausted? Wired?

All this thinking makes me exhausted and when I start loosing this hope in me, I start being lazy and lacking of energy, preferring to stay in instead of doing anything. I feel sleepy during the day and awake at night, my sleeping patterns are ruined. It is a real torture.

Awww...sweet