Wow. After reading the introduction I am set back and speechless. This "pessimist" has been ruling my life for way too long. I will give you a list of 10 things your Inner Pessimist is likely to say (I have spotted more than one):
- You're not good enough. I'd shelve this idea if I were you.
- You're a loser. Good try, but it's best quit while you're ahead.
- You're really stupid! Whatever you do, don't open your mouth.
- Really they all despise you and laugh at you behind your back. I'd stay in if I were you.
- You're fat, your nose is huge and you're funny looking. They would never fancy you in a month of Sundays, so don't make fool of yourself.
- You're talentless. Don't show anyone your work or you'll just humiliate yourself.
- They're rich and posh, and you're common and poor. Never the twain shall meet.
- You might have hit lucky streak, but it will all go wrong soon. I wouldn't celebrate if I were you.
- You're poor, you're stupid and you're ugly - and you're thinking about doing what? Oh, don't make me laugh...
- Your life is terrible because you are terrible.
Everyone of us have this Inner Pessimist who holds us back, makes us doubt and lose our hope. I was writing the list and at the end of every statement making my remarks: this person inside you doesn't have right to put you down, you are great in every way. I might be carrying some extra pounds, but I can always hit the pavements and start jogging. I might not be rich and posh but that doesn't make me worse than them, moreover, I am the one who can make myself work to it, being rich is achievable if your main goal is only money. No one is stupid, we might have different range of abilities but at the end, we are always good at something. Ugly? We girls, always moan about it but at the end we find our prince and live happily ever after, so we are all beautiful princesses but the timing of getting it all is different to everyone. I am not good enough and if you were me, you wouldn't do it...well, let me tell you, you are not me, so that's why I am doing it and taking the risks, making mistakes and learning from them, falling over and getting back on my feet. I am ready for life and it's challenges. Bring it on.
- Give your Inner Pessimist a name and a character.
OK, my Inner one is going to be she as I have to match her and be better than her. She should be everything I don't support: someone with blond long hair - extensions of course - and just pretty face, fake nails (OK, I used to have them for a while and I regret it, but I just don't stand ANY artificial things), spray tan all around the year, designer clothes (don't get me wrong, I love labels, but sometimes people don't have personality to wear it, they are wearing something just because it is something which was more than my month's rent and it was by a big name), speaks posh (I don't know if you noticed, but no offence, we have loads of Russian youngsters studying/living in London and they speak posh English which just doesn't go with me. You can straight away assume that they think they are way better than everyone else as they are relating themselves to Royals. Leave posh English for Royals!), doesn't like to be interrupted and always thinks she is right.
- You're already very familiar with the script that your Inner Pessimist generally uses. Think about this script and answer the following questions:
- What is the pessimistic script that keeps me frozen in fear?
I am always hearing that " You're not good enough, you're stupid, you're talentless..." and sometimes I fear that she might be right. She might be right and I am really this fool who is making a laughing stock of myself by trying to do things, change something. Maybe I am wearing pink glasses and seeing world the way it is not. She makes me doubt every single time I need to make any decision. It is like living with someone else, like competing every single day while living your life, making sure you done it right. I fear to be wrong, I fear of being failure.
2. How does that script serve me?
It really makes me feel small and vulnerable. I feel like being a kid and following my parents advice, it doesn't challenge me to get out there and do what I want. It makes me feel trapped inside my world.
3. What does it cost me?
My life. I miss on every little bit: I lock myself inside and don't live my life. Again, it just makes me exist and nothing more. I can't find the inner peace with myself, I start being depressed and not willing of doing anything.
4. When your Inner Pessimist is in charge, how do you feel physically? Exhausted? Wired?
All this thinking makes me exhausted and when I start loosing this hope in me, I start being lazy and lacking of energy, preferring to stay in instead of doing anything. I feel sleepy during the day and awake at night, my sleeping patterns are ruined. It is a real torture.
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