- What are the little thoughts and stories that keep you stuck in Victim City?
I believe I always blame others for things happening to me and not admitting that I might be in charge if I want to make things work differently. You can not change the things which are happening but you can change your attitude and consequence on yourself. I blame people not hiring me because of my Lithuanian surname as they assume I am another Easter European "rubbish", but I definitely know that I have skills, education and experience. I blame work that it made me so "unambitious", it is not challenging me and I am wasting my potential. I am blaming my parents for some issues which occurred during last years and happen to cause "cold war" (I haven't spoken to them for nearly a year at one point). I am blaming them for not loving me enough, not showing support enough. Fair enough, I know this is stupid when I go through it and only blame other half on the conflict/situation, but I guess this is how the humans brain works: blame others but not yourself.
- How do these thoughts help or serve you?
They reduce my pity of myself as I blame "the others" for what is happening. I can not find the inner peace because I am angry and upset about them and see them as my enemies who cause suffering, failure and sadness.
- What do those little thoughts cost you?
It makes me upset, makes me lacking motivation. I usually become apathetic to anything: I better sit at home and don't meet my friends, I cancel my meetings, so social life is almost non existing, I make other people suffer as they have to deal with my mood swings and nagging. I lose that fire to do something, do try new things and challenge myself. It makes me doubt my skills, experience and qualifications. I feel like a plant which is put under the dark lid/cover, so you don't grow and get the heat from the sun, you just exist but not live: every day is just one more day on your calendar, but nothing more.
- If you were going to make a leap and tell a different and BIG story, where you come from your expanded, forgiving and empowered place, what would it be?
These are just obstacles on my way to reach my goals, they might slow me down, maybe make me make a leap but at the end I will make it, no matter what as this is me who is charge of my own life, I am my own creator of my path. I am open to new possibilities, new challenges and ideas. When I am set on my path, no one can't disturb me. I am great (I know, sounds a bit like I am full of myself, but you need to be reminded to believe in it) and people who don't think I am have to deal with it, it is their problem. I am not money so I don't accept everyone to adore me, but as long as I have inner peace with myself I am happy. "I'm coming...I what the world to know..." now sounds in my head.
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